He spent weeks talking about how great his milk muscle is, so I thought what the hell! He appears educated and kind and it was time to wake this dormant vagina up. 3 years of ignoring my Egg McMuffin was enough!
Aggressive sexual fantasies were relayed in great detail. I was really looking forward to the main event but he turned out to be a 5-minute lover looking for a girl that goes to brown town to accommodate his mini crayola.
As soon he got baby rocket off, his man brain shut down and the witty chit-chat diminished. He lost the will to banter and suddenly needed to go home early. He even began checking his phone.
He texted a few hours later and asked when we could go out again so that he could reinsert his love worm into my beautiful vagina. I thought, all that effort and energy spent on 5-minutes? He simply didn't try and maybe that's the head-trash of a man with a little hobbit.
I had a good laugh on the way home and I'm always grateful for that. I thought - a dormant, hot waffle that hasn’t been laid in 3 years and this guy can't get me off? It's not hard to knock the stuffin' out of this Egg McMuffin. What’s a girl to do but grab a vibrator and block his dumb ass.
I can get past quick draw mcgraw and even a little schnitzel, but a man better show up and put his best dick forward because that's what I deserve. That's what every woman deserves. NEXT!
Add comment
Comments
Still giggling hahahaha!!